Asking herself the question:
Are you welcoming all of your life's drama for the sake of entertainment or because it's important to you?
does it matter in the end?
caring too much about something which will probably just leave her unhappily jaded.
but if she's okay now, does that say something?
THE HAPPIEST SHE'S BEEN SINCE
the heart attack
doesn't that say something? happy without you
but glad to have her friend back
only finding it hard to keep from holding his hand
and wanting to kiss him
but she refuses to get hurt again...
like last time.
so she closes herself off a bit
she's been successful at it before
don't tell him you miss him
just say hi and ask how his week was
and oh! I read the best book the other day!
maybe the hugs are a little tighter than they would be
maybe the eyes linger with a playful smile a little longer than they would
if they didn't miss holding hands
but oh! such a good book!
and have you tried this tea? i think it's my new favorite.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Papillon Cottage
Advertisment:
This cottage is for the broken,
for those looking to mend
their hearts.
They will find joy
in les papillons
et les fleurs.
This is not for the emotionally stable
but for those seeking
to untie the unpleasant knots
in their stomachs.
Because here you will
fall asleep in the uncut grass
and wake up blanketed
by the gentle wings of
les papillons.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Falling Asleep While Standing
The sky was full of patchy clouds, the kind that look like they're fighting the sun for ownership over that great expanse. The song in her ears made her want to both cry and laugh hysterically. the strong strum of the violins in this otherwise happy song was enough to make her want to melt into sadness. The violin bows played on the fragile strings of her heart, though the breeze was pleasant and the sun warmed her back - the violins made her want to cry. Each strum made her heart yell out for the people who had lost a love like she had, a love she didn't know if she would be able to go back to. The gentle chords, the vibrato, the staccato, the hum which grew louder within her as the song moved along gave her a sadness which overwhelmed her entire being. And even as she felt this sadness, she was greeted with an irrepressible smile.
She smiled because the sun fought back the clouds heroically - it's only foe up there. She smiled because she was caught up in the emotions of that moment, the fact that she realized that she knew what it was to lose, but also what it was to gain, two things she would never give up. The smile lingered on her face, and passersby couldn't help but be caught up in it - ignoring the salty wetness hidden behind her eyes. Her eyes always betrayed her heart. Wanting to keep this moment to herself, she buried her face in her scarf, covering up that smile, allowing it to belong only to her. The smile was for the fact that she was there, in that spring breeze. Smiling, and all the while feeling the strings of the violin tugging at her heart and battling tears.
And in that day in the city, leaving the coffee drinkers behind, her mind traveled back to just a few days before, when she buried her face in her scarf not to hide anything from anyone, but the shrug up some warmth. Her sadness was replaced momentarily by warmth given to her from a bonfire in the home in which a piece of her heart would forever lie.
It had only been twenty-five degrees out that night and the sky was still and clear. Perhaps the state of the sky reflected the state of her soul, because at this time it wasn't battling anything, only allowing the stars to twinkle brightly. She looked up and felt God there, felt the stillness of her heart stir with joy. She had been looking for a reason to escape the monotony of the apartment, so she and a friend met with others to build a bonfire. It didn't matter that she didn't know anyone besides that one friend, everyone just pretended that they had all known each other for years - finding common ground in the place they all called home. As the fire started from it's sparks, the cold burned through her sweatshirt.
And the fire grew until they had to stand fifteen feet away from it so as to keep themselves from burning. The rotation between facing the fire and facing outward began. Conversations cycled around the fire, no one felt alone because even if they were sitting by themselves on a log, they had the flames to lose themselves in. The guitar player, who changed every few songs, strummed along with the conversations. She couldn't remember a time where she had felt more content. Joy bubbled up inside her at the simplicity of the night. Ghostly voices began to sing together at the lone guitarist's invisible cue. Their voices followed the smoke up into the sky. She was comforted by the familiarity of the fire and the songs, and she would have given anything to be able to stay there.
It took a moment for her to realize that the song in her ears had stopped. The sun had finally lost it's battle with the clouds and the wind began to pick up. Once she roused herself from her memories, she was greeted once again by her daily toils. The daily duty of having to deal with the losses of her past and trying to figure out her future. Only able to hear the constant passing of the cars, she stopped and stared up into the greying sky. A heavy sigh told her that she was ready to get on with that day. She wrapped her scarf more tightly around her neck, acknowledging the fact that summer was still a few months away and made the long trek to her temporary home.
She smiled because the sun fought back the clouds heroically - it's only foe up there. She smiled because she was caught up in the emotions of that moment, the fact that she realized that she knew what it was to lose, but also what it was to gain, two things she would never give up. The smile lingered on her face, and passersby couldn't help but be caught up in it - ignoring the salty wetness hidden behind her eyes. Her eyes always betrayed her heart. Wanting to keep this moment to herself, she buried her face in her scarf, covering up that smile, allowing it to belong only to her. The smile was for the fact that she was there, in that spring breeze. Smiling, and all the while feeling the strings of the violin tugging at her heart and battling tears.
And in that day in the city, leaving the coffee drinkers behind, her mind traveled back to just a few days before, when she buried her face in her scarf not to hide anything from anyone, but the shrug up some warmth. Her sadness was replaced momentarily by warmth given to her from a bonfire in the home in which a piece of her heart would forever lie.
It had only been twenty-five degrees out that night and the sky was still and clear. Perhaps the state of the sky reflected the state of her soul, because at this time it wasn't battling anything, only allowing the stars to twinkle brightly. She looked up and felt God there, felt the stillness of her heart stir with joy. She had been looking for a reason to escape the monotony of the apartment, so she and a friend met with others to build a bonfire. It didn't matter that she didn't know anyone besides that one friend, everyone just pretended that they had all known each other for years - finding common ground in the place they all called home. As the fire started from it's sparks, the cold burned through her sweatshirt.
And the fire grew until they had to stand fifteen feet away from it so as to keep themselves from burning. The rotation between facing the fire and facing outward began. Conversations cycled around the fire, no one felt alone because even if they were sitting by themselves on a log, they had the flames to lose themselves in. The guitar player, who changed every few songs, strummed along with the conversations. She couldn't remember a time where she had felt more content. Joy bubbled up inside her at the simplicity of the night. Ghostly voices began to sing together at the lone guitarist's invisible cue. Their voices followed the smoke up into the sky. She was comforted by the familiarity of the fire and the songs, and she would have given anything to be able to stay there.
It took a moment for her to realize that the song in her ears had stopped. The sun had finally lost it's battle with the clouds and the wind began to pick up. Once she roused herself from her memories, she was greeted once again by her daily toils. The daily duty of having to deal with the losses of her past and trying to figure out her future. Only able to hear the constant passing of the cars, she stopped and stared up into the greying sky. A heavy sigh told her that she was ready to get on with that day. She wrapped her scarf more tightly around her neck, acknowledging the fact that summer was still a few months away and made the long trek to her temporary home.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
